First things first. Let me start this post out by saying fellow readers, I do not scare easily.

The Dark? Got nothing on me. 1-0.

Horror Movies? I’m generally too much of a prick and make fun of the movie and those watching it to worry about being scared. So, they have nothing on me. 2-0.

Three strikes and you’re fucking out, fear.

BUT NO.
That can’t be allowed.

Ladies and Gentleman, I stumbled across this picture last night and haven’t been right since.

FUCK.THAT.NOISE.
IHATECLOWNS.

Going to the circus as a kid and looking back at that now, a clown looks very happy on skin level, because they wear so much fucking makeup. That’s the only reason. Most clowns are raging alcoholics and usually touch boys.

BUT NOBODY FUCKING KNOWS THAT BECAUSE THEY WEAR SO MUCH FUCKING MAKEUP.

Slappy The Happy Clown isn’t ruffling your kids hair. He’s looking for the softest spot to come down on with a bat, and making room in his cars trunk.

-JP

Welcome to The Summary, a personal/satirical blog written by yours truly. First off, the most important thing you should know about me: I am an asshole. If anyone has read my previous online endeavors, you know what I’m talking about. I can be nice to your face and be mentally cutting you down. Which is my thing. It’s a gift. I’m sure you all have questions. That’s okay. I’ll see if I can knock off the obvious for you:

1) Why did you start another blog?
Answer: My other blog lacked the certain sense of professionalism that I generally strive for. Yes, it’s time to bookmark another one of his blogs. Deal with it, damnit. (There I go again!)

2) So what’s this blog going to be all about?
Answer: Your guess is as good as mine, honestly. Often times something happens in my everyday life that just needs to be documented fucking somewhere. So you all get to read it. It’s okay to feel giddy, I won’t tell anyone. (I’m telling everyone.)

3) Seriously, another personal blog?
Answer: Not only a personal blog. I’ll often times give my personal take on matters in the news. Is that alright with you? ( That was rhetorical.)
4) I learned nothing from these questions!
Answer: That wasn’t even a question. Prick.

I don’t really have much else to say. I hope you are all entertained by the stories of my life. And hey, if not, piss off. And I meant that in the nicest way possible.

(No I didn’t.)

-JP